<declan_murphy@hotmail.com> wrote:

> Louise Bremner wrote:
> > I don't know much about funerals, so I need some help here....
> >
> > The "o-tsuya" is a wake, isn't it? Not the formal funeral that's on the
> > next day? Are participants still expected to dress in black (with
> > pearls) and donate in one of those special envelopes? (Do I even have
> > enough black items of clothing?)
> 
> Wear black and get the envelope. I don't know about the pearls, and I
> had to borrow the tie. 

I think I've got a black skirt and shirt somewhere, but I'll have to buy
black tights and polish my shoes.... (My usual trousers wouldn't be
appropriate, I suppose?) I do have pearls, but they might be a bit too
frivolous.

> The otsuya isn't the funeral, but it is very
> formal.
> 
> Only shock I had was when I was asked to go up and pay my respects. I
> was expecting to be bowing to the photograph of the deceased that was
> placed on the altar, not bowing over the open coffin containing the
> actual corpse.
> 
> > The first relevant page that comes up on Google is from Debito's site,
> > so I'm not sure how much to accept from that.
> >
> > Would I go to the funeral too, or is it either/or?
> 
> Both usually. Is there no one at the o-tsuya you can ask regarding the
> protocol???

The person who rang to tell me about it said she couldn't go to the
funeral, so I was wondering. There'll be others there to ask, though.

Um.... Envelope at both? And how much? (She's the mother of someone who
taught me for a while--the lessons were in her house.)

________________________________________________________________________
                   Louise Bremner (log at gol dot com)
   If you want a reply by e-mail, don't write to my Yahoo address!