Louise Bremner wrote:
> I don't know much about funerals, so I need some help here....
>
> The "o-tsuya" is a wake, isn't it? Not the formal funeral that's on the
> next day? Are participants still expected to dress in black (with
> pearls) and donate in one of those special envelopes? (Do I even have
> enough black items of clothing?)

Wear black and get the envelope. I don't know about the pearls, and I
had to borrow the tie. The otsuya isn't the funeral, but it is very
formal.

Only shock I had was when I was asked to go up and pay my respects. I
was expecting to be bowing to the photograph of the deceased that was
placed on the altar, not bowing over the open coffin containing the
actual corpse.

> The first relevant page that comes up on Google is from Debito's site,
> so I'm not sure how much to accept from that.
>
> Would I go to the funeral too, or is it either/or?

Both usually. Is there no one at the o-tsuya you can ask regarding the
protocol???