Michael,

You are way out of your league in your response, pal. Step into my
shoes for ONE MINUTE.. things are not as easy as you make them seem.

For the sake of the CHILDREN I have not called the cops, if only
because if I take the dramatic measure of having her go to jail, the
two kids will likely grow up without, a): their mother, or b): their
father. Or worse yet, social services will take my kids away from her
AND ME. I am trying to make this marriage work for the sake of the
children.

By the way, she has threatened to return to Japan with my kids and not
give me visitation rights... this is the kind of sh#t I deal with
every damn day.

I have informed my wife's parents and sisters back in Japan about the
child abuse situation -- they continue to sit on that information and
mull over it.

As for her not getting adjusted to life in the US, that is just BS. In
fact, WE MET HERE IN THE US! She wants to be here.

 > This has jackshit to do with the cultural differences of the
parents.
> This is child abuse, plain and simple. You need to remove either the
> kids or the abusive parent from the equation until the urge to abuse
> has been removed from the abusive parent.

You'd better believe it has to do with cultural differences, my
friend. I have informed her parents, I have informed the local
Japanese social services group, and all are IGNORING the problem as if
it were no big deal.

So my last resort is the cops, but that is a drastic step.

Remember: I am a father. There are NO RESOURCES FOR FATHERS in the
situation of having a female spouse doing the child abuse. NONE. NADA.
The system is set up against the dads.
 
> Have you just "threatened" to call the cops? Or have you had her led
> away in handcuffs and booked? Big difference. An oft-repeated but
> never enacted threat is worse than useless.

How do I get her led off in cuffs if the slapping shows no marks or
bruises? Ditto for screaming. The abuse is more psychological than
physical... it's extremely difficult to prove.

> Ideally, of course, you should get her some psychiatric help, but I
> have doubts that she would go for it

She won't. 

>or that it would do any good. It
> sounds to me like you have on your hands a Japanese woman who is
> steadily going psycho from not adapting to life outside Japan very
> well.

Not true. We life in a large metro area with a large Japanese
immigrant population, and many Japan-centric services. She has
Japanese friends and acquaintances here. This was also a problem when
we lived there (in Japan).

> The only details I would like are your name and address so I know
> where to send the child welfare people and the cops.

Look into what my rights as a father are (not many), and you will
understand why I don't want to fight this battle in courts or the
social worker offices. I asked for help or advice, not judgement or
condemnation.