> Let me start by saying that when I did that it couldn't have been any
> more botched, luckily my fianc$(D??(B's dad was very understanding of my
> stupidity and he liked me in spite of myself.
> (that was two kids and fourteen years ago)

I have no doubt I will botch it no matter how hard I try.  Hopefully,
the effort is what counts.

> Here is how I would do it if I had it to do over again.
> 1. Be invited over

No problem here.

> 2. Find out from your fianc$(D??(B what he likes and get that (make sure to
> get a nice gift for her mom too).
> Must be inexpensive gifts unless they are really rich like Nintendo,
> Sony or Hitachi family, mainly match the gift to your and their
> financial status. 
> Not as if you are trying to buy her... just that you are giving a gift
> to be respectful.
Not really sure what kind of gift to get.  They are not very financially
well off and are quite old.  I'll ask my fiancee what might be a good
gift, but there's only a couple of days left before the visit (it got
moved up a week).

> 3. Bring an appropriate drink (his favorite) for afterwards to celebrate.
I don't think he drinks.

> 4. When you meet them for the first bow forty five degrees and smile
> saying hajimemashte.
> 5. After all the niceties and the weird uncomfortable shuffling around
> you all will go sit down in a room around a little table.
>    It may be that they have couches if so when you bow it's cool to just
> bow your neck down.
>    Stay seated but on your knees (like in Karate class) so that you may
> bow when you pop the question.
> 6.Bow with your face pointing to the floor. (make sure your face is down
> humble)
> And say...
>  
> a. Kekon O yourushite kudasai onegai shimasu $B7k:'$r!!5v$7$F$/$@$5$$!#$*(B
> $B4j$$$7$^$9!#(B
> or
> b. Ojosan Kudasai onegai shimasu$B!!$*>n$5$s$r!!$/$@$5$$!#$*4j$$$7$^$9!#(B
>  
> awkward silence before he reaches out grabs the sword to lob your head
> off (just kidding)
>  
> be sure to end with onegai shimasu

I'll try to not screw this part up at least.

> He may want to know how can you afford this.
> Also he may be concerned as to your education
> Where do you plan to live?
> He is expecting you to provide for her in a nice place not a meager
> existence.
> He may ask you to wait until you can afford to do this... like if you
> are still in college
This isn't an issue.  Both of our college days are long past and we both
have decent jobs.

> If he accepts hot diggity dog its time to plan a wedding! (get your
> checkbook out)
Or bankbook.


> On the engagement ceremony give a ring (usually equivalent to 1/3 of
> your salary)
Sorry, 1/3 of my salary for a ring is just plain silly (IMHO).
Actually, I've already bought the ring and given it to her anyway.  I
don't think we will have a formal engagement ceremony since we both
aren't interested in that kind of thing and it seems like her parents
aren't that much either.

Thanks for the all the advice.  It was very helpful.

John