On May 2, 8:49 pm, John <gh14...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Let me start by saying that when I did that it couldn't have been any
> > more botched, luckily my fianc$(D??(B's dad was very understanding of my
> > stupidity and he liked me in spite of myself.
> > (that was two kids and fourteen years ago)
>
> I have no doubt I will botch it no matter how hard I try.  Hopefully,
> the effort is what counts.
>
> > Here is how I would do it if I had it to do over again.
> > 1. Be invited over
>
> No problem here.
>
> > 2. Find out from your fianc$(D??(B what he likes and get that (make sure to
> > get a nice gift for her mom too).
> > Must be inexpensive gifts unless they are really rich like Nintendo,
> > Sony or Hitachi family, mainly match the gift to your and their
> > financial status.
> > Not as if you are trying to buy her... just that you are giving a gift
> > to be respectful.
>
> Not really sure what kind of gift to get.  They are not very financially
> well off and are quite old.  I'll ask my fiancee what might be a good
> gift, but there's only a couple of days left before the visit (it got
> moved up a week).
>
> > 3. Bring an appropriate drink (his favorite) for afterwards to celebrate.
>
> I don't think he drinks.
>
>
>
> > 4. When you meet them for the first bow forty five degrees and smile
> > saying hajimemashte.
> > 5. After all the niceties and the weird uncomfortable shuffling around
> > you all will go sit down in a room around a little table.
> >    It may be that they have couches if so when you bow it's cool to just
> > bow your neck down.
> >    Stay seated but on your knees (like in Karate class) so that you may
> > bow when you pop the question.
> > 6.Bow with your face pointing to the floor. (make sure your face is down
> > humble)
> > And say...
>
> > a. Kekon O yourushite kudasai onegai shimasu $B7k:'$r!!5v$7$F$/$@$5$$!#$*(B
> > $B4j$$$7$^$9!#(B
> > or
> > b. Ojosan Kudasai onegai shimasu$B!!$*>n$5$s$r!!$/$@$5$$!#$*4j$$$7$^$9!#(B
>
> > awkward silence before he reaches out grabs the sword to lob your head
> > off (just kidding)
>
> > be sure to end with onegai shimasu
>
> I'll try to not screw this part up at least.
>
> > He may want to know how can you afford this.
> > Also he may be concerned as to your education
> > Where do you plan to live?
> > He is expecting you to provide for her in a nice place not a meager
> > existence.
> > He may ask you to wait until you can afford to do this... like if you
> > are still in college
>
> This isn't an issue.  Both of our college days are long past and we both
> have decent jobs.
>
> > If he accepts hot diggity dog its time to plan a wedding! (get your
> > checkbook out)
>
> Or bankbook.
>
> > On the engagement ceremony give a ring (usually equivalent to 1/3 of
> > your salary)
>
> Sorry, 1/3 of my salary for a ring is just plain silly (IMHO).
> Actually, I've already bought the ring and given it to her anyway.  I
> don't think we will have a formal engagement ceremony since we both
> aren't interested in that kind of thing and it seems like her parents
> aren't that much either.
>
> Thanks for the all the advice.  It was very helpful.
>
> John

You're welcome.  Seems like you'll be OK.  Anyway, congratulations to
both of you.


Sryn