Kevin Wayne Williams wrote:
> Declan Murphy wrote:

>>1) WTF do I obtain a Turkey? Do I buy one? Shoot one? Club a randomly
>>passing Turk to death?
> 
> I could mail you one for a fee.

I wouldn't even know how much a suitable fee would be (let alone where 
I'd get a 200 liter oil drum). How much does a Turkey cost?

I read on the small business japan yahoo group thingee
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SmallBizJapan/
about a woman up in Hokkaido who (I think) ships turkeys, bigg-ass 
pumpkins etc to sepponians each year.

>>2) HTF do I obtain hyooge amounts of peanut oil?
> 
> Ditto.

Sounds simple.

>>4) How big is a Turkey anyway? How much bigger than a chook or a duck?
> 
> A good size turkey is between 8 and 12 kilos of meat. The only safe way
> to do this is to use an oil drum of about 200 liter capacity, a hook, a
> rope, and a pulley. Hook the rope to the turkey, suspend it with the
> pulley, heat the oil, use the pulley to lower the turkey. If nothing
> explodes, you can go look at the pretty bubbles. I hear stories every
> year of homes being burnt to the ground by people that heard of someone
> else deep-frying a turkey and greatly underestimating the magnitude of
> the task.

8 to 12 kilos is a shitload of bird. How common is deep frying anyway? 
The only time I've seen people cook and eat a Turkey was on the frigging 
Brady Bunch or sumthin.




-- 
"Beyond the Euphrates began for us the land of mirage and danger, the 
sands where one helplessly sank, and the roads which ended in nothing. 
The slightest reversal would have resulted in a jolt to our prestige 
giving rise to all kinds of catastrophe; the problem was not only to 
conquer but to conquer again and again, perpetually; our forces would be 
drained off in the attempt." - Emperor Hadrian AD 117-138