"it's for the money babe, don't you want to get out of this hole we're
in."?

he's there, i'm here in the states. phone cards too expensive. i miss
his voice, his laughter. his laughter is over there, and here, only
silence.

he said: "babe, one of these days we will travel the world together."

he is enjoying the beautiful sasebo, japan, the sites, smells, culture,
while
i struggle to keep bills paid, i watched our son fly off on a plane to
be in the airforce, there i stood alone, waving, smiling, forgetting to
breathe.

our bed is cold and lonely. the telephone on the bedside sits, just a
hard chunck of plastic with wires and numbers. it makes no sound.

he emails briefly: "hun, the food here is great, i had the best supper
last night.
then i walked on the ginza, if only you could see it."

to me, food is tastless. i eat to live. my tears drip over my plate
salting each forced bite.
at least soon, he will be home, he will hold me in his arms, we will
laugh together, love together again soon.

he said: "i have bad news, we have to stay longer than i thought. i
will let you know more later."

our hearts became one some time ago, how far and how long can we keep
them apart?  is his heart beating as mine?

i cry five minutes, dry my tears, take a deep breath, change into
something nice & go out...someone, surely someone, will put a bandaid
on my wounded heart, i will smile, laugh, joke, play, work...and when i
get home, to our cold lonely house, my heart will once again fall
apart.