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____________________________________________________________
A Rough Night 

A fellow decides to take off early from work
and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes
at three in the morning, at which time he is
extremely drunk. After leaving the bar, he returns
home on foot. 

When he enters his house, he doesn't want to
wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts
tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs
though, he falls over backwards and lands flat
on his back. That wouldn't have been so bad,
except that he had couple of empty pint bottles
in his back pockets, and they broke; the broken
glass carved up his back terribly. Yet, he was
so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. 

A few minutes later, as he was undressing,
he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in
the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was
cut up terribly. He then repaired the damage
as best he could under the circumstances, and
he went to bed. 

The next morning, his head was hurting, his
back was hurting, and he was hunkering under
the covers trying to think up some good story,
when his wife came into the bedroom. 

"Well, you really tied one on last night,"
she said. "Where'd you go?" 

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off
for a couple of beers." 

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied.
"You got plastered last night. Where did you
go?" 

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night,
anyway?" 

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was
when I got up this morning and found a bunch
of band-aids stuck to the mirror."