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The Best Pet 

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner
that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The owner says, "How about a dog?" 

The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary!
And a dog can't do everything!" 

The owner says, "How about a cat?" 

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't
do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"


The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've
got it -- a centipede!" The man says, "A centipede?
I can't imagine a centipede doing everything.
But, okay ... I'll try a centipede." 

He gets the centipede home and says to it,
"Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he
walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All
the dishes and silverware have been washed, polished,
dried and put away. The countertops have been
cleaned. The appliances are sparkling. The floor
has been waxed. 

He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede,
"Go clean the living room." 

Twenty minutes later he walks into the living
room. The carpet has been vacuumed, the furniture
clean and dusted, the pillows on the sofa plumped
and the plants watered. The man thinks to himself,
"This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
This is truly a pet that can do everything."


He says to the centipede, "Run down to the
corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede
walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede.
Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes
later, no centipede. 

The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede
should have been back in a couple of minutes.
Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede!
The man can't imagine what happened. Did the
centipede run away? Did it get run over by a
car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens
it... and there's the centipede sitting right
outside the door. 

The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago
to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.
What's the story?" 

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'!
I'm puttin' on my shoes!"