"Tony Raven" <junk@raven-family.com> wrote in message
news:buqpqu$kq6j6$2@ID-178940.news.uni-berlin.de...
> Claire Petersky wrote:
> >
> > I'm thinking that, if you went this route, you should have an
intermediary
> > apologize on your behalf. The best person for this would be someone at
your
> > mutual workplace who is above the both of you in the hierarchy. This
person
> > would explain that we need to excuse the gaijin for his eccentricities,
yes,
> > strictly speaking it's against the rules, but let's just turn a blind
eye
> > for now, after all, he's only a gaijin, and he's valuable to this
> > organization.
>
> I agree completely.  In a society where they have hundreds of ways of
avoiding
> the confrontation of saying "No", confrontation is never going to be
> effective.  Law and logic play a minor role compared to personal
interactions
> and peer pressure.  "Gomen nasai, gaikokujin desu" with appropriate
lowering
> of the head solved many problems for me.  Even had the local police turn
out
> in Uji to break into my illegally parked car when I locked the keys
inside.
> Lots of light hearted despair of the "I don't know , gaijins huh" and
pointing
> out of the no parking signs and teasing me before a grateful bowing and
> thanking session and being told it would be OK to leave the car parked
> illegally for an hour or two while we went in search of green tea.
>
> Tony

I don't know much about Japanese culture however a similar approach has
worked for me in the US a few times.  "Saving face" isn't a uniquely
Japanese concept.

They way I've done it in the past is when confronted by a petty bureaucrat
telling me I have to do something differently "just because I said so", I've
played dumb and in essence have said "I'm just a geek, all I know about is
how to do my job, please explain the political crap to me as if I was a
child".  This seems to work as it's non confrontational, and it's a bit like
the Socratic method ... you think about it and you show me why your way is
better.  Often, they'll spew their load of dogma, and I'll catch them in
some subtle point of logic (especially if it makes them look better) ... and
the response will be "point well taken".

I'm envisioning something along these lines: "Mr. X., please forgive my
ignorance, all I am is an engineer and the only reason my wife and I ride a
tandem bicycle to work is because it seems to us to be the most efficient,
simple, and elegant solution to us (and give him some solid logical
reasons).  I know you are much smarter than us and understand the reasons
why this is not so.  Since I cannot understand the social reasons, could you
please do me the honor of explaining to me?"

Good luck,

C.Q.C.