Winders Advisery!
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____________________________________________________________
Subject: Winders Advisery!
Just in case you gets a bad copy here is the "rest
of the story". It has come to our attention that a few
copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally
been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these,
you may need some help understanding the commands. The
Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening
screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture
of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate
flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.
Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" Dial up
Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control Panel is
known as "The Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as
"4 Wheel Drive" Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc
thangs" Instead of an error message a "roll of duct tape"
pops up CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION: OK
. . . . . . .ats aw-right Cancel . . . . .stopdat Reset
. . . . . try er agin Yes . . . . . . yep No . . . .
. . .noop Find . . . . . .hunt fer it Go to. . . . .
.over yonder Back . . . . . .back yonder Help . . . .
. .hep me out here Stop . . . . . .kwitit Start . . .
. . crank er up Settings . . . settins Programs . . .
stuff dat duz stuff Documents . . . stuff ah done did
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are
exclusive to Winders 98: Tiperiter . . . . .a word processing
program Colerin book . . . a graphics program Cyferin
mersheen . calculator Outhouse paper . . notepad Iner-net
. . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0 Pichers . . . . . .a
graphics viewer Dern lil varmit . .a mouse We regret
any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a
copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft
for a replacement version. I hope this heps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates Head Honcho
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