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Magic Weapons 

Bob was joining the army and they were handing
out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line.
When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns.
The man issuing rifles gave him a broom 

''This is a magic broom -- point it at anybody,
say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.''
Bob was really worried because he didn't think
it would work, but he got in line for bayonets,
thinking he might stand a chance if he could
stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's
turn came and they had ran out. 

''Don't worry.'' said the man issuing them
out. ''I will give you this magic carrot -- point
it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,'
and they will die." 

Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with
a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling
invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at
by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him,
hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't
have anything to lose so he pointed at him and
said ''Bangity bangity bang!'' and the guy fell
down dead. He did the same thing with the magic
carrot. 

Amazed at what was happening, he continued
to fight. Then, a guy came slowly up to him and
he would not die. Bob tried to shoot and stab
him, but he wouldn't die. The last words poor
Bob heard as he was being trampled over were
''Tankity tankity tank.''