In article 
<cec3ac30-4bb7-4aec-9228-64364048a30f@q14g2000vbn.googlegroups.com>,
 "Rita B. Flesh" <vintage_manors@yahoo.com> wrote:

> How can I piss without pissing on my clothes???
> 
> Can I buy an artificial penis for myself???

You can do what female pilots do...use a device called a Lazy-J.
Look it up at any of the shops on-line that carry pilot supplies.

-john-

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John A. Weeks III