Declan Murphy wrote:
> On May 16, 4:27 pm, CL <flot...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> B Anderson wrote:
>>> Declan Murphy wrote:
>>>> On May 2, 10:14 am, B Anderson <a...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Meaning what? Printouts of statements from a web browser instead of
>>>>>> formal letters? A statement of current deposits instead of
>>>>>> documentation of the previous X number of months worth of
>>>>>> transactions?
>>>>> It lists everything for the past 3 months.
>>>>> But, I went to the bank to ask for it, expecting a nice colour statement
>>>>> (like you get in the mail). Instead, they gave me a black and white
>>>>> print out.
>>>> Should be no problem.
>>> I just got the visa, gawd be thanked.
>> Good.  Let's see what you say about gawd in a year.
>>
>> Now you can come here and learn Wa-go, which entitles you to join the
>> rest of us in receiving demand letters from any number of spotty high
>> school and university students who cannot understand why you're not just
>> dying to translate Japanese anime scripts and video game background
>> stories for them, free of charge.
> 
> Ever since I added the "not helpful" file to my site, I get bugger all
> requests for that kind of crap. Try something similar?
> 
> http://www.yamasa.org/member/declan/not_helpful.html

While you have hit many of the high points, it's obvious we travel in 
different circles.  You've left out several very significant ones:

--  People who want NOS (new old stock) parts for the 1986 
Honyamakawazuki 863 "Super Snark" motorcycle they're restoring and don't 
accept that the manufacturer sold exactly none of them in Japan and that 
there never were any spare parts for them here.

-- People who bought a grey-market Japanese vehicle (Nissan GTRs and a 
certain Toyota Supra, in particular) in their home country and think 
that you have nothing better to do than to run on down to the big 
junkyards outside Kyoto and Osaka to find them body parts to replace the 
ones they wrecked -- or tune up parts that their local dealer can't / 
won't order -- or performance parts that they'd heard were available in 
Japan for a three-month period one decade ago ... and all you have to do 
is call this guy named "Hiro," 'cause they saw an article in something 
published by Lord EMAP and it had this photo of the man and his parts 
... and it says he's Japanese and lives in Japan (like you do, so you 
must be neighbors) so just phone the lad up and explain that they're 
flush with cash and want to cut him a killer deal.

-- People who have an old bike, motorcycle, or car and are convinced 
that Japanese are all rich, eccentric, and will line up for the right to 
pay crazy prices for anything made in England, Europe, or America, 
regardless of current condition.  And they'd like you to help them 
retire on the proceeds from the sale of their mum's Cortina to that 
Japanese millionaire who owns his own island.

As an aside, I am constantly amazed at the number of Brits, in 
particular, who are convinced that there are hundreds of reclusive, 
eccentric Japanese multimillionaires who own islands in Seto Naikai who 
can't get their fill of old British and Continental motorcycles.  I keep 
telling them they're probably thinking of Scotland and that it has 
nothing to do with Japan at all.

-- Guys who were stationed in Okinawa (usually, other places 
occasionally) who want to find out what happened to that "A" bar hostess 
that they lived with in 1968 ...

-- Former English teachers who went home to <insert name of country> and 
suddenly get the hots to find and propose to that ex-girlfriend / that 
student / that cute girl at the nomiya.  Occasionally, it's someone who 
knew a Japanese woman overseas, usually at university but not always, 
and wants to find her.  Nearly all of them have a name, most have the 
phone number of parents or a sibling that was still working three years 
ago.  None of them seem to have the dosh to pay the hourly rate my 
company charges for those location services.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

It's become less of a problem since I started turning the full force of 
my charm on the most obnoxious ones.

CL