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Only a year to live 

A fellow went to the doctor who told him that
he had a bad illness and only a year to live.

So he decided to talk to his pastor. After
the man explained his situation, he asked his
pastor if there was anything he could do. 

"What you should do is go out and buy a late
'70's or early '80's model Dodge Pickup," said
the pastor. "Then go get married to the ugliest
woman you can find, and buy yourselves an old
trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma."

The fellow asked, "Will this help me live
longer?" 

"No," said the pastor, "but it will make what
time you do have seem like forever."