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____________________________________________________________
New Diet Rules 

1. If you eat something, but no one else sees
you eat it, it has no calories. 

2. When drinking a diet soda while eating
a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are
canceled by the diet soda. 

3. When you eat with someone else, calories
don't count as long as you don't eat more than
they do. 

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never
count. ex. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara
Lee cheesecake 

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you,
then you look thinner. 

6. Movie-related foods do not have calories
because they are part of the entertainment package
and not part of one's personal fuel. ex. milk
duds, buttered popcorn, junior mints and Tootsie
Rolls 

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The
process of breaking the cookie causes calorie
leakage. 

8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The
refrigerator light is not strong enough for the
calories to see their way into the calorie counter.


9. If you are in the process of preparing
something, food licked off knives and spoons
have no calories. ex. peanut butter on a knife,
ice cream on a spoon 

10. Food of the same color have the same number
of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio
ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Chocolate
is a universal color and may be substituted for
any other.