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"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton. 

President Clinton finishes his time on earth
and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven. "And
who might you be?" inquires St. Peter. 

"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President
of the United States and Leader of the Free World."

"Oh....Mr. President! What may I do for you?"
asks St. Peter. 

"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton. 

"Sure," says the Saint. "But first you have
to confess your sins. What bad things have you
done in your life?" 

Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well,
I tried marijuana, but you can't call it `dope-smoking'
because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate
extramarital relationships, but you can't call
it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual
relations.' And I made some statements that were
misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't
call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far
as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard
of perjury." 

With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life
briefly, and declares, "Okay, here's the deal.
We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call
it 'Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but
we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter,
you don't have to "abandon all hope," just don't
hold your breath ....... 



waiting for it to freeze over."