In Tokyo:
1) Tokyo Disneyland
2) Magazine Browsing at the Circle K in Asakusa
3) Defending the US Invasion of Iraq to the Japanese and non-American
gaijin
4) Getting those cute Pingu gifts at Mr. Donut (and comparing the
quality of their donuts to Krispy Kreme)
5) McDonalds! (but I'll pass on the Teriyaki burger, thanks)
6) Going to Shinjiku, and defending the Bush adminstration's track
record on international trade (steel tariffs, softwood lumber tariffs,
etc)
7) riding the JR Line (which, btw, has nothing on the Seattle
monorail)
8) riding the Shinkansen (which, btw, has nothing on Amtrak)
9) riding the subway (which, btw, has nothing on Buffalo's light rail)
10) Getting into fights at Roppongi

In Osaka: 
1) University City Osaka, of course dude!
2) hanging out at Kansai Intl Airport, and thinking I'm at the Denver
airport
3) going to Kyoto (home of that lameduck pollution treaty), and
defending the Bush administration's environmental record
4) scalping b-ball tickets in front of the Osaka Dome
5) boozing 'n boating down in Kobe 
6) fending of those peacenik Frenchmen, Swedes and Canadians down at
the local gaijin house
7) the Wendy's at Namba Station
8) riding the Osaka JR Loop (which, btw, has nothing on the 1-70
highway loop in Indianapolis)
9) extolling the virtues of American-made cars (particularly Fords)
10) ordering "tako", and then complaining when I don't get ground
meat, cheddar cheese and salsa wrapped in a hard tortilla shell