Path: ccsf.homeunix.org!ccsf.homeunix.org!news1.wakwak.com!nf1.xephion.ne.jp!onion.ish.org!gcd.org!jindaiji.chofu.tokyo.jp!mmcatv.co.jp!news.moat.net!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!local1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.comcast.com!news.comcast.com.POSTED!not-for-mail NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 13:56:05 -0600 From: (KenFuny) Newsgroups: japan.chacha-jokes.hneta Subject: Sayings Message-ID: <88mdnb7mltzIwEncRVn-gQ@comcast.com> Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 13:56:05 -0600 Lines: 155 NNTP-Posting-Host: 68.62.130.165 X-Trace: sv3-gdKt9MWkFZZ8h8dNrHTqSnKFM0M032TrrHN3F0HSSbcfEQuit8/AN5/HogLWTeM4SGke3m+mYn2y+rx!oiM1MgInqCbgePtq3tIkRvY7XS+ydxPgju5vGc7yMA5SF79g6FSxtLRit2p41g== X-Complaints-To: abuse@comcast.net X-DMCA-Complaints-To: dmca@comcast.net X-Abuse-and-DMCA-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers X-Abuse-and-DMCA-Info: Otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly X-Postfilter: 1.3.22 Xref: ccsf.homeunix.org japan.chacha-jokes.hneta:2144 Joke is at the bottom! Subcribe to KenFuny A daily joke list aimed at lifting your spirits. Send a blank email to: subscribe2@kenfuny.com Emails to this address are not read. Emailing this address will automaticly subscribe you. Important: If you are going to email from your news reader be sure it is set-up with your correct email address. ____________________________________________________________ Sayings 1) My first wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't! 2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. 3) I used to work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. 7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research. 11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 13) NyQuil - The stuffy, Sneezy, why is the room spinning-medicine. 14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 15) God must love stupid people. He made so many. 16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you. 18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative. 19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 21) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team. 22) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod) 23) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up 24) Procrastinate Now 25) Rehab Is for Quitters 26) My Dog Can Lick Anyone 27) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries with That? 28) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit. 29) Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names 30) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software. 31) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT 32) A hangover is the wrath of grapes 33) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 34) DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music 35) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken 36) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead 37) Time's fun when you're having flies...Kermit the Frog 38) FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once. 39) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH 40) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory. 41) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it. 42) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 43) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 44) The trouble with life is there's no background music. 45) The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.