John wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I just got engaged to my Japanese girlfriend and will go meet her father
> in a few days to ask his permission.  I'm interested in what I should
> say (in Japanese) to ask his permission, a set phrase for example.  Even
> though my girlfriend is Japanese, she spent most of her life outside of
> Japan, so she is not 100% herself.  Anyway, he is expecting me, so there
> will be no surprises about the outcome.  I just feel it is important to
> get his permission (for him and me) and I want to ask in the appropriate
> way using appropriate Japanese (he speaks no English).  Any other
> suggestions, for example, gifts, how to act, etc., would be welcome.
>
> Thanks in advance,
> John

Well, coming from someone who's just been through the same thing, the
only phrase I could recommend is

O musume kudasai  (literally "Your daughter, please")

Someone else here could point out that this is wrong, inappropriate,
hardly used any more, or even that I've been totally had by a "Useful
Japanese phrases" book  :D  which was where I got it all those years
ago, I think.

Don't know about any appropriate gifts though.  I only brought
souvenir snacks.  Be prepared for awkward silence though, as the
father processes in his mind how to answer you as he scratches the
family dog, Goldfinger style.  I also didn't jump into it.  After
dinner, as we were all sitting around, I recounted a Japanese advert I
saw on TV years ago that had this similar situation.  The young guy
couldn't get the father's attention who was fixed watching Sanma on
TV, until the young guy mimmicked Sanma doing an 'A' (YMCA style)
while tilting his body to one side and asked 'OK?'.  Unluckily for
that guy, the father said 'dame', or was it 'iie'.  I recounted this
just to build up my courage and to lead up to my own question, of
course, but still the awkward silence was, well, pretty awkward.
Luckily, the mother likes me and upon realising my discomfortness,
urged the father to answer.

Your mileage and situation may vary, but do try to lighten up the
scene and take away attention from yourself.  I did this by presenting
her with the ring after that.  But hopefully, your's will be a
memorable experience as well.


Sryn