How I Spent the Summer Solstice 2014

Day two and counting down to Fall. Yesterday was the longest day of the 
year--if you live on or about the equator. Everywhere else it's just a long 
day. Speaking of long days, I had one of those yesterday. It happened like 
this...... Pleasance dragged me along to JC Penny......and well......



eventually she wandered off somewhere by her lonesome. Which left me milling 
around the isles for ten minutes or so--looking for her and beginning to 
suspect the store dicks thought I was a likely shoplifter. Then I finally 
strolled across one. A freakin' chair! If you've ever been, you know there 
aren't more than two of 'em in any of those freakin' Penny stores. I packed 
my ass into that chair without delay, settling in for what might be a long 
wait. It was a nice chair. Metal frame with an upholstered back and 
contoured seat that felt good against my cheeks. But enough of that.



I glanced around and . . .? Wouldn't you know it, I was plopped down right 
in the middle of the fucking bras. Which I pretended not to notice, lol. 
Fucking row after goddamn row of fucking bras! Bras to hold tits I couldn't 
fondle and suck in ten thousand years. Well...... I just sat there twiddling 
my thumbs, thinking about that, passing time.



But soon my mind began to wander, as it often does, towards other important 
matters; and I found myself called to duty with the sizing up of women's 
asses. A good place to do just that. Women everywhere. So then . . . Has it 
ever crossed your mind . . . about how lots of women these days have 
disgusting fat, sloshy asses? Like a twin lumps of melting Jello in a 
shithouse--it's "Quanto orribile!" I assaulted my sensibilities by 
picturing, in a military mind, what these young women with "orribile" asses 
might look like about a decade or so down the road; and the mental pic 
reminded me of the old saying, "an ass like a forty-dollar cow." Surely such 
lardasses would never grace the pages of "Cosmo."

The nice firm, tight ass--the Holy Grail benchmark for most men--seemed the 
exclusive domain of young teen shoppers, who went about their business in 
the B-cup isle. From eighteen on, girls, it's a downhill toboggan ride for 
you. I think you know this, too. Of course you do. It explains why you girls 
are in such a hurry to get a'hold of a man while you're still young--while 
there's still something desirable about you.  Personally, I'm a leg n' ass 
man, so I appreciate a fine ass, and I'm a good judge of the same. But 
enough of that.....



At any rate, sitting there on my own ass, it slowly dawned upon me that my 
presence there amid the bras was not especially unnoticed.  Then some cow 
with an ass like a fucking rhinocerous, blockading the entire isle behind 
it, despised me a withering glance.  "Like I fucking care, bitch. Cunt! 
Nobody would fuck you," I thought. I was just about to get the hell outa 
there and go look for Pleasance again when who but she appeared. When she 
asked me what I had been doing, I simply said that I had had enough of asses 
for one day.



Colonel Edmund J. Burke

U.S. Army, ret.


-- 
Everything you know is wrong.