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My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE- "If you're going to kill each other, do
it outside. I just finished cleaning!" 

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better
pray that will come out of the carpet." 

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:- "If
you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!" 

My mother taught me LOGIC- "Because I said
so, that's why." 

My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 "If you fall
out of that swing and break your neck, you're
not going to the store with me." 

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure
you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident." 

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and
I'll give you something to cry about." 

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
-"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" 

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST - "Will
you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"


My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll
sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."


My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks
as if a tornado swept through your room." 

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
- "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
toward you; would you listen THEN?" 

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've
told you once, I've told you a million times
- Don't Exaggerate!!!" 

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I
brought you into this world, and I can take you
out." 

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
- 

"Stop acting like your father!" 

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are
millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"


My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just
wait until we get home." 

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You
are going to get it when we get home!" 

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If
you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to freeze that way." 

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you
don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get
a good job." 

My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater
on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"


My mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn
mower cuts off your toes, don't come running
to me." 

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
- "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
grow up." 

My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're
just like your father." 

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you
think you were born in a barn?" 

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."




And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One
day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn
out just like you!"