"John Yamamoto-Wilson" <j-yamamo@sophia.ac.jp> wrote:

>The avatar embodying the morbidity within Follyfoot Farm wrote:
>
>> Agripodipaths (well, that's how it's spelled in my dictionary) tend to
>> respond to posts in the same vein as the original poster.
>>
>> Like I did and am.
>
>Yes, you hit the right vein, I think (unlike a lot of other posters).
>
>> Nevertheless, I agree with you further than I understand you.
>> In that our perceptions are one. ;-)
>
>Agripodipathic atavars appear to be pretty cool. Is there a long
>apprenticeship, or can anyone join?

Well I don't know about cool but anyone is free to apply. I'll send
you a form.
You should start preparing a few things in advance. You'll need a
photograph of six dead relatives arranged in a cube, a wooden pole
between 1m and 1.2m and a book on hamsters.

When filling in the form you don't need to answer the questions about
cardboard. We don't worry about that any more.
Keep the pink copy for yourself. Give the yellow copy to a friend in a
sealed envelope - you do NOT want anyone that close to know that kind
of information. Burn the green copy and keep it an glass jar (all will
become clear when you get the handbook.) Send the rest of the copies
to the address on page 208.

You won't have long between receiving the interview date and the
interview itself. So once you have sent off the form start looking for
stockists of silver and red clothing, national costumes and 19th
century fur so you will be prepared when you receive the instructions
and map. I ended up going to Krakow for a couple of days in the end.
It was a real rush I can tell you.

At the interview you will need to bring the fee, the book, your
prepared pole, Death die, a packed lunch and a couple of bottles of
spirit (though port or sherry will do if funds are an issue.) It
starts about 8am and they don't have any changing facilities so go
wearing the costume. Following the informal interview the ceremonial
examination begins.
Some of the questions will be on the answers you gave on the form but
others fall into the categories:

Capital Cities.
The Hamsters home in Deserts and Grasslands
What Hamsters are Like
Hamsters Senses at Work
Hamster Breeding
Hamsters Typical Behavior
Understanding Hamsters Body Language
Understanding Hamster Sounds
Building trust in your Hamster.
Understanding a Hamster’s Feelings
Children and Hamsters
Your Hamsters’ Wish List
Roaming Free with your Hamster
Build an Adventure Playground for you Hamster
Judging a Hamster’s Personality Type. 
The best ways to use a Pet Stores
How Long Do Hamsters Live? 
The Autumn of Life for Hamsters
How to Recognize an Older Hamster
How Hamsters Die
Music of Memphis in the 1960s

(You are allowed to use your book on most of the questions.)

Then in the evening there will be a short film on the life of our
leader and Eileen will have prepared a few snacks.
Next you will be given a number based on an appraisal on your pole
(mine is 2 which is quite poor.) It's weight, girth, tonality and
whether the carvings will have affected its durability. You will leave
the pole in this room with the fee, die and alcohol. Following a quick
but quite traumatic ceremony you will be given the hat, badge, pen and
hamster and we'll get you a cab back to the station or, on rare
occasions, an ambulance. If its not Monday the train should arrive
before the morning. It should be second nature by this point but to
avoid a tragedy please remember to keep the hamster warm on the way
home.


-- 
Tenko Bill McFishdentist
Down in the meadow where the wind blows free, In the middle of a field stands the lightning tree.
It's limbs all torn from the day it was born, For the tree was born in a thunderstorm.
Grow, grow, the lightning tree, It's never too late for you and me;
Grow, grow, the lightning tree, Never give in too easily.